Hello
from my heart to yours...
"Can I keep you?" from Casper the friendly
ghost......
Every
Spring, like so many of us do, I clean… not just the closets and the drawers and
the garage and the shed, etc, but, I, also, clean up my facebook and my life… I
use Spring and Lent simultaneously as almost an excuse to rid myself of people
that I just do not want to “keep” anymore… usually it’s something as simple as
we have lost touch, however, other times, it could be that they simply do not
add anything to my life that might keep me on the road that I so desire to be
on… that road that, I believe, will lead me to heaven…. I use this time of “re-birth”
and “renewal” to “retreat” into a more reflective mode… in order to find peace within my heart, I eliminate
the people that take that peace away from me… every year, my
"keepers" list changes… and that’s normal… new needs pull people in
new directions or in no sure direction at all… we are all ever-changing… so, as
harsh and as selfish as it may be, I let people go on their merry way…. My path
takes me elsewhere and sometimes back to where I was supposed to be all along….
I am open to receive during this time.
Anyway,
this past weekend I went to serve at the Lenten Emmaus Retreat. This is the 10th year that I have
been going… When I did my first “walk to Emmaus”, I honestly went to take a
break from my 3 boys… it was my birthday weekend so I asked each one of my
siblings to take a child as their birthday gift to me… I really don’t remember
much about the retreat itself except that I ate a lot… when you go back to
serve is when you realize all the preparation and hard work that goes into the
weekend… course, I think I have been to 5 meetings, in total, the last 10 years,
which is horrible because I cannot make a “commitment” to serve… I just show
up; get a sense of where I may be needed, and help in whatever way I can… and
so, I always seem to end up with the kitchen and dining crew… and the ironic thing is… we don’t have time to
eat anything all weekend… lol…
I
have had many memorable experiences at the retreats and it’s usually the same
familiar “Sisters” that I share the weekend with… the Emmaus Sisters I have “kept”
in my life for these weekends... however, when I walked into the kitchen, I
only knew the school chef and two other girls… one veteran mama like me and one
other girl, who worked at the bank I used to go to (not because I knew her from
the ministry) … it was a strange feeling.. kind of like that “one of these
things just doesn’t belong here… can you tell which one” song from Sesame
Street… not that they weren’t welcoming, but they had a different rhythm going
from that of previous Sisters… and they were younger and excited.. it was their
first time in the kitchen… so, okay… I can usually play well with others and if
I can’t, well then, I just find other playmates…
Of
course, there were girls that I met throughout the retreat that I wanted to “keep”
right away.... their smiles or their eyes or the way they would let me hug them
as if they knew me forever… Sisters and Candidates alike… some I had known in
passing and some I had never seen before
in my life… there was a great energy … there was so much faith, hope and love
surrounding us all….. as close and fabulous as I felt with all these girls, I
probably won’t make friends with any of them… I am just like that… yep, in the
moment, I feel as though they have been my friends for a lifetime already.. but
then, the weekend is over and I say my good-byes.. and I just hope to see them
again the next retreat… crazy, crazy me…. whatever it is, I think it all goes
back to one of my favorite quotes...
"When spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest. The only thing that could spoil a day was people and if you could keep from making engagements, each day had no limits. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself." — Ernest Hemingway (A Moveable Feast)
Here in South Florida, we have had signs of Spring for a while now… the “false Spring” when the rest of the U.S. still has snow falling.. the weather has been beautiful.. the blue jays and cardinals have been in my garden bathing in the birdbath and eating from the feeders since February.. they fill my soul with love... the orchids are in full bloom.. the rose tree sends it fragrance through the courtyard… it is easy to be happy in the solitude of my yard… I enjoy being alone and working the land…I realize that it almost bothers me to have people interrupt my relationship with nature… when it is a gorgeous day, I cannot be inside… the chores inside of my house will always be there… (this kills my mother because nothing ever gets done.. but I am trying to balance that…)
Anyway,
in the past I have written about the idea of the Lenten season being a time of
"reflection, reconciliation and reformation"… The word “Lent” means “Spring”
so even if you are not Christian, you can still use this little exercise to “re-new”
yourself…. use this season of your life as a time to “reflect” about your loved
ones.. spouses, significant others, parents, children, co-workers and friends ….
think of the reason you wanted to “keep” them in your life in the first place
and be happy.... if you need to, then, “reconcile” with those you want to “keep”
but have been distant from for some reason… ultimately, “reform” by either “keeping”
them or letting them go if they do not add light to your heart… take the time
to tell people why they are "keepers" .. express your love to them...
because we all need to be reminded sometimes... .. make loving people your way of life during this time of “re-birth” and
“renewal”….
And
by all means… CELEBRATE
all the people whom you have "kept" and have "kept" you
back... my heartfelt wish to all of you is that you are able to see the
"Spring" in everyone you encounter so that you are always
asking "Can I keep you?" because
YOU are loved beyond measure… be always as good as Spring and know that you are
as good as Spring to me...
May
your day be blessed with all things good... Namaste....
I
love you,
Elena
